Okay, so you've taken some time to enjoy your engagement and to allow it all to sink in. You've told family and friends, picked the date, purchased every wedding magazine on the stand and now you're ready to start planning the wedding! Pump the breaks…not so fast!
When it comes to planning a wedding, there are over a dozen different components that come together to make your dream day come true: flowers, cake, invitations, decorations, music, what you will wear, the venue, food, transportation, and on and on.
For both you and your fiancé the importance of any one or all of these things differ significantly. It has been my experience that women tend to be concerned about their gown, flowers and decorations, while the future hubby to be has his focus fixed on the food, the bar, and the music.
Before you meet with any vendors or share your plans with anyone, it is critical to your planning sanity to come together to discuss your priorities. This is important because:
1. Priorities provide you with a focal point, a target if you will. You and your honey should begin with the top three items on your wedding wish list. By knowing what each of you feel strongly about, you won't spend time, money and energy on the things that are not that important to you.
2. You need to have your plan in place before meeting with vendors or enlisting the help of opinionated friends and parents. Once everyone else starts to chime in with their opinions and suggestions (as well meaning as they are), it can cause angst if you are not clear about what you want.
3. As a couple you need to sit down and determine how things are going to be at "your wedding". You want the day to have meaning for both of you, not just one or the other. In the years to follow, you will both be able to look back with fond memories because the day was a reflection of you both.
4. By identifying your priorities and having a plan in place to protect your vision, you will avoid the "feeling obligated to be nice and please everyone else" trap. If after you have established your top priorities, and others have thoughts on an element that's not that important to you, then you won't mind getting a little input from your friends and not feel put upon by their suggestions.
Here's the thing, you have your vision and surprisingly he has a vision too of how the wedding should be. The tricky part is marrying the two visions so that you both can live happily ever after. The key to solving this dilemma is to establish your priorities before you get started on the planning.
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